The Kiama Lions have been supporting carers at the Lions Cottage by providing much-needed respite. For the second time this year, three carers have enjoyed a three-night stay at the cottage, along with goodies donated by local businesses.

The Kiama Bowling Club, conveniently located across the road, donated three dinner vouchers for each group. The Grand Hotel contributed three bottles of wine, while the Kiama Farmers Market provided a basket filled with meats, jams, eggs, and a variety of fresh foods.

Tracey Barker, Naomi Bowden, and Jackie Garvin are all dedicated to caring for their children with various illnesses. Their commitment has taken a toll on their mental and physical health. Although they didn’t know each other before, they have connected through their shared experiences and the need for some time to themselves.

Tracey’s daughter, 19, has Down syndrome. An unfortunate injury left her husband working from home, which allowed Tracey to join the women at the cottage. Tracey's dedication and care for her daughter led to chronic stress that resulted in a heart attack last year. She reflects, “{chronic stress} It's the one thing that is very hard to manage because it's not going anywhere.” 

When offered this opportunity, she found it hard to let go of her responsibilities, “I haven't done anything like this before, I met with my support coordinator and when she mentioned it, my heart honestly was just racing, I was like I can't do this I cant go away… we've probably only been away a handful of times from our children.” Tracey felt anxious but realised she needed to prioritise herself “I really know I need this, and my heart attack was the biggest wake-up call.”

Naomi cares for her 13-year-old son with autism and often encounters a lack of understanding from others. “Trying to educate anyone on disabilities is really hard… people often say, ‘He doesn't look disabled.’” The women all agreed that this notion is common for them. 

After a traumatic birth, she fought for mothers’ rights, contributing to the NSW Birth Trauma Inquiry that collected over 4,000 submissions. She shares her story to empower others. “I did that stuff for me to make sure no one else experienced what I've gone through,” she says. “I don't want anyone to feel alone.” Naomi now runs the Illawarra Baby and Child Loss Support program, helping women with similar experiences.

Jackie cares for her son with schizophrenia and faced her own wake-up call after suffering a stroke and a brain tumour. It was hard for her to be unable to help as well as she wanted “As a mother, the worst emotions in life are the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness,” she shares. She's struggled to receive the extent of help she needs through housing, funding and caring. Through her struggles she keeps a positive outlook saying “Life is so precious; as a carer, every day is a good day if my son is well.”

All three women felt guilt about leaving their responsibilities but recognised the offer from the Lions Club as the perfect chance for respite. They often struggled to focus on their own needs after years of caregiving, feeling that “there's always someone worse off.” This mindset made it difficult for them to accept help.

Their message to everyone is clear: ask for help when you need it. Don’t suffer in silence. It's important to care for yourself and prioritise your needs also, as Jackie puts it, “Everyone wants to have a life, don’t they?”

The women are enjoying swims at the beach, good food, massages and shopping in the heart of Kiama, thanks to the Lions Club and their sponsors. A sincere thank you to Tracey, Naomi, and Jackie for sharing their stories, and to Cheryl Moses president of the Kiama Lions Club for organising this.