This Christmas, I found myself struggling to find the right words for a special friend who lost someone they loved in a tragic accident this year. As the season of joy and togetherness approached, their grief weighed heavily on my heart.

I wanted to offer comfort, but every time I tried to write, I hesitated. What could I possibly say? Would my words feel hollow or inadequate?

Eventually, I sent a message, simple and heartfelt. I acknowledged their loss and let them know they were in my thoughts. It wasn’t perfect, but it was honest. Yet, even after pressing send, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was enough.

Not long after, I stumbled upon Donna Ashworth’s poem On Those Days. Its tender wisdom struck me deeply: Remember how they loved you—and do that for yourself. In their name, in their honour, love yourself as they loved you. They would like that.

The poem didn’t try to fix grief or erase absence. Instead, it invited a gentle, healing act of self-love in honour of the person lost. It was the message I had been searching for without realising it.

This experience reminded me that words don’t need to be perfect to matter. When we reach out, even imperfectly, we offer connection. For those grieving this Christmas, it’s not about saying the perfect thing—it’s about being present.

If you ever feel unsure of what to say, remember that sincerity carries its own quiet power. Sometimes, simply showing up is enough to light the way through the darkness.