Detective Johnson switched on the tape recorder, relaxed into his chair, and placed his notepad on the desk in front of him. He stared directly at the old man sitting opposite and began the interview. 

“Good morning. I am Detective Johnson. This is Constable Watkins,” he said gesturing to his sidekick. “For the record can you please state your name, address and date of birth”.

“Santa Claus. I Christmas Lane, North Pole. Not sure about birth date, late C14th I think.”

“So,” Detective Johnson began, “you say you are Santa Claus.”

“Yes. That is correct.”

Detective Johnson picked up the arrest sheet. “It says here you were arrested last night for Break and Enter after being caught climbing through a window at 4 Boronia Drive, Kiama.”

“Yes. But I wasn’t breaking in. I was delivering gifts. Don’t you know what Santa does?”

“Hm. Do you have any identification on you?”

“What! No, Santa doesn’t need identification,” the old man exclaimed.

Detective Johnson jotted a few things down on his notepad then turned to Constable Watkins.  

“Did he have anything with him besides the empty sack?” he asked him. The Constable instantly shook his head.

“OK,” Detective Johnson said, turning back to the old man. “So why was your sack empty?”

“Magic. The sack automatically fills with the right gifts for the children of the house as soon as I am under the Christmas Tree,” the old man explained.

“Hm. And why are you not wearing the red outfit Santa is supposed to wear.”

“I can explain that too,” the old man replied. “Mrs Claus sent it to the cleaners, and it wasn’t back in time, so I had to make do with this,” he said as he stood and pointed to his dishevelled pants and shirt.” And before you ask about the reindeer and sleigh, they were frightened off by the sirens of the police car. They will come back and get me when I am released.”

“Well, I think that is enough for now,” Detective Johnson sighed, turned off the recorder and turned to his Constable again. “Take him back to the cells. We’ll talk to him again a bit later.”

“The cells are pretty crowded,” the Constable replied.

“So how many more do we have to interview today?”

“53…it’s going to be a long day.”

Seriously, not another busy Christmas, I’m already over it!” Detective Johnson exclaimed.

“Yeah. Me too,” Constable Watkins added as he turned back and escorted the old man out of the Interview Room and back to the cells.