Whilst I realise the vaping ‘culture’ is being abused just like many drugs on the market, the benefits for me personally being able to give up smoking a pack a day since 14 years old is priceless. For a 90s baby like myself, I have seen the world change dramatically around me. From the closest thing to an iPhone was having a tamagotchi to nowadays the majority of the public in our country are able to access all kinds of products. I was addicted to many drugs growing up as a result of sexual and physical abuse from a young age. Whilst this doesn’t define me now, it caused me immense shame and self sabotage as a young teen and into my early adult years. I have in the last 4 years turned my life around. I’m now a non smoker, I’m clean from recreational drugs, I have regular physcology to deal with my trauma and I have a weekly support group. On top of this I have been able to rebuild my relationships that matter to me the most. Smoking use to alienate me to the outside tables and the darkest corners of society. I would only be social when drinking and smoking subsequently only engaging with other addicts. After over a decade of smoking as my chosen poison, my only ‘best friend’ as I use to refer to it, I now have a smoke free home. My beautiful daughter was a massive motivation for this as well but the wheels were already in motion before I had her. 

I’m now 31 years old and I treat vaping as a solution to my long term, chain smoking addiction. I don’t use my vape irresponsibly. I have one vape with 4000 puffs that lasts me up to 3 weeks. At 35 dollars a vape, it’s also cheaper than one pack of cigarettes cost me. I have had many attempts at quitting smoking including many medical interventions. No other solution has ever worked for me. Now don’t get me wrong, if i was the young lost teenager I once was when vaping was invented, I absolutely would have abused it. And by this I mean chain vaping, breathing more capacity than the product intended, sharing my vape with my buddies, leaving it lying around for animals or other people to then intentionally or not misuse the product. I think that the core misconception of vaping is the bad press from focusing on the horrific health consequences from mostly youth that are younger generations. Some are absolutely are not receiving the mental and physical health support they need. In my opinion the problems and risky behaviour I use to engage in all started from my first cigarette. I should have been a statistic in many aspects of my previous life, however I’m one of the few that can now reflect on my trauma and misdemeanours and use it as wisdom in my life. 

I recently was part of a new design structure being introduced at the hospital I gave birth to my daughter in as a result of the lack of care to my mental and physical health after an emergency caesarean. After not vaping or smoking the majority of my pregnancy, the neglect I received in arguably the most vulnerable time of a women’s life caused me to get a few cigarettes from my friend. I then got someone to buy me a vape that day as I knew I didn’t want to smoke around her but I was also dealing with some of the most intense pain and emotions of my life and I needed a vice again. I needed some familiarity that I know helps ground me in the world sometimes. Whilst I absolutely don’t condone smoking or vaping as it’s a decision that is really up to the individual and their life circumstances, for me it’s been a game changer. I hope to stop vaping one day but it’s the lesser of two evils for me currently. Smoking has always led me down the rabbit hole of going back to drinking and taking drugs. I have a new life and even though I believe through my progress I am strong enough to resist these temptations now, I also don’t want to be in a position where I may be vulnerable and justify it. It’s my body and my choice how I decide to rehabilitate and heal in a way that is a long term alternative for me to kick the smokes for good. Being a mama to the most perfect little girl has changed my life for the better and given me a reason everyday to continue in my sobriety journey. 

Prue Buckley