Discussing death is often considered taboo, but what happens when it becomes an unavoidable reality in our lives? In a society that tends to avoid the subject, organisations like Compassionate Communities are breaking the silence by creating safe spaces, such as Death Cafés, where individuals can openly share their thoughts, ask questions, and tell their stories without judgment.

At a Death Café in Gerringong, I discovered the concept of ‘life art coffins’. These personalised coffins serve as a canvas for expressions of love and memories, allowing individuals to create a unique and meaningful tribute to the deceased using photos, poems – like a collage. Made from eco-friendly materials like strong cardboard or wood fibres, these coffins also provide an affordable and environmentally conscious alternative to traditional options.

During the afternoon I heard about The Coffin Club, another unique group, which combines discussions about the various aspects of death with a touch of humour, music, and shared experiences. Participants not only engage in conversations about death literacy but also have the opportunity to build their own coffins! This creative and communal approach aims to destigmatise the topic of death and facilitate a healthier understanding of the grief journey.

We were also told about Dr. Kathryn Mannix, a former consultant in palliative care medicine, who emphasises the importance of open conversations about dying. Her TEDx talk, "Why Don't We Talk About Dying?" and acclaimed books like 'With the End in Mind' and 'Listen,' offer a human perspective on 'ordinary dying,' encouraging people to face the inevitable with knowledge and understanding.

The Death Café experience also shed light on various end-of-life options, including natural burial shrouds, affordable coffins, and low-cost cremation. Discussions covered advanced care planning, where individuals are encouraged to communicate their end-of-life preferences, ensuring that their wishes are considered in case they cannot speak for themselves.

An Advance Care Directive serves as a written record of these preferences, guiding healthcare providers when decisions need to be made. In contrast, Voluntary Assisted Dying (VAD) provides eligible individuals the option to end their own lives under specific criteria. The process involves thorough assessments, ensuring the decision is voluntary and not influenced by external factors.

The Death Café gathering facilitated an open and honest exchange of stories, thoughts, and tears. The peaceful atmosphere allowed attendees to absorb valuable insights without pressure to contribute, creating a space where listening and learning about death became an enriching experience.

I have a friend whose partner has terminal cancer, and we are going together to a Death Cafe on Sunday 24 March, from 2-4pm at Henrietta Rose Room in Bowral. It is free to attend, and all are welcome.